How the church can cultivate an atmosphere of forgiveness and unity
What follows is a lenten message I presented at my local church. The message draws from the Parable of the Lost Son (Luke 15:11-32), which you can read here. I pray God speaks through the message shared below.

I. The Father Vs. The Younger Son
This evening, as we reflect on the parable of the lost son, I want to emphasize how the father’s attitude differs from that of his two sons.
First we compare the father and the younger son—the son who demanded his inheritance and set off from home. The son who was “lost” to his family, and perhaps considered (by them) as good as dead.
We could spend some time talking about how this son’s attitude changed over the course of his journey from home and back, but I especially want to focus on his return: When he finally returns home, what is the father’s perspective, and how does it compare to this young man’s point of view?

For the father, however he may have felt when his son took the inheritance and left home, his son’s return doesn’t provoke the reaction of punishment (or rejection) we might have expected. Instead, the father looks at his long lost son with a view to restoration.
In the father’s actions, we clearly discern his generous intentions toward his returning son. Actions which suggest that—even from the moment this son went astray and left home—it was always the father’s hope and intention to have him completely restored. Not to his former state, but to his former position.
You see, his former state was one of independence and rebellion, with an attitude that said, “I don’t want to live under your authority, dad. I want to do my own thing, to live for myself, to make a name for myself, to be free of your influence.”
The father didn’t want to return his younger son to that state—to the state of a son who acted like an orphan with an inheritance. Rather, the Father wanted a relationship—wanted to impart his wisdom—wanted to love his son and show him a better way. Truly, if the father had anything to say about it, this young man would live as his son once more. He had in mind his son’s complete restoration.

But what of this young man’s perspective? We see that he returned, but not with full restoration in mind. Upon his return, he confessed (rightly), “Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.” And he was planning to plead, “make me like one of your hired servants.” His plan wasn’t restoration but subjugation—forever living under the weight and shadow of his former sins.
But this is not the Father’s will. After confession and repentance—for this son, a literal turning from his former lifestyle—the father approaches with absolution and restoration in mind.
II. The Father Vs. The Older Son
Now—to compare the Father with his older son—we consider the state of the Father’s heart. He didn’t ONLY look at his younger son’s return with a view to restoration, but also, when he saw his son approaching, he had compassion on him.

Compassion in The Complete Word Study Bible comes from a Greek word for “bowels” and means “To feel deeply or viscerally, to yearn, have compassion, pity.” The synonyms listed include words meaning “to suffer with another; … to have mercy, to alleviate the consequences of sin or suffering in the lives of others;” and “…to moderate one’s anger, treat with mildness, [and] gentleness.”
By way of contrast, the antonyms include words that mean “to render stubborn…; …to petrify, harden; [and] to show little regard for.”
While the father’s heart was soft with compassion, the older son’s heart was hard as flint. Not just toward his brother, but toward his father, as well. Rather than showing compassion, the older son fixated on his brother’s sin and took it as a personal offense that his father would welcome his brother back with gifts that he himself felt he’d been denied.
He heard his father’s voice inviting him in to celebrate the restoration of his younger brother, but, instead of going in, he turned away from his father with a hardened heart.

The Danger of a Hardened Heart
Hebrews 3 says, “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts.” And “See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called ‘Today,’ so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.”
The lesson here is that we—each one of us—can be hardened by the personal sins we allow in our lives. And not only that, but we can also be hardened by another person’s sin as well. It happens when a sin outside us provokes a sinful response within. A sinful response…like that of the older son.
We find this hardhearted persona pronounced in many of the Pharisees of Jesus’s day. These men considered their outward adherence to the law proof of their justification before God—and completely missed the point of the law, which was always meant to show us our sins and to reveal our deep need for a Savior (Romans 3:20). More than that, in their sense of self-righteousness, these men condemned others—something even Jesus (who truly was righteous) didn’t come to do (John 3:17).

I think of the story in the gospel of John about the woman caught in the act of adultery. The Pharisees and teachers of the law dragged this woman before a crowd to present her to Jesus. And they tried to trap Him with a question: “In the Law,” they said, “Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” The crowd picked up their stones, ready to hurl them at the woman.
Many of them saw—in this woman—sin personified, but that’s not what Jesus saw. Instead, He saw a sinful person in need of restoration. Toward this woman, the crowd spoke the truth and acted in hate, whereas Jesus spoke the truth in love. Both hated the sin, but only Jesus loved the woman caught in it.
That’s the danger we face in staring too long at the sins of others, forgetting that we ourselves are capable of being caught in sin. Maybe the Pharisees in this story would never think of committing adultery, but they certainly weren’t immune from judgment, hatred, and pride.
This is a caution for us all—for all of us will continue our struggle with sin as long as we remain this side of heaven. And the caution is this: Judgment is a trap. In Luke 6:37, Jesus says, “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”
The apostle Paul models a healthy view of judgment in 1 Corinthians 4:3-5, where he says this: “I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God.”

I hope this passage restores a healthy measure of godly fear to everyone who hears it. None of us sees perfectly. We don’t see others well enough to render accurate judgment, nor do we see ourselves well enough. That’s why I pray frequently for God to search me “and know my heart; [to] test me and know my anxious thoughts. [To see] if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24). And I ask Him to convict me quickly when I sin, so I can also be quick to confess, repent, and be restored to Him again.
After all, my responsibility before God is not to convict others of their sins, but to look to God, to repent of my own sins, and to look at those caught in sin with a heart of compassion and a view to their restoration. We can do this by practicing the wisdom of Colossians 3:12-14: “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
Father God, help us each to do just that. In Jesus’s name. Amen.
